Roadtrip / honeymoon

This week we took to the Malawian roads. This was also the first time I got to properly drive around Malawi (omitting that sedate and carpeted drive from when I picked Janet up from the airport). This time we had an altogether different mix of terrain, landscape and weather. I think this must be the longest drive I’ve ever done in my life, taking in at least a half of Malawi’s vertical diameter and combining high alpine plateaux with basking lakeshore escapes! Each day in this last week has been so rich in stimuli, interactions and discoveries that an individual page is what’s really needed for each. We shall endeavour to relate them to you each as a paragraph instead, which is going to be no mean feat.

Lilongwe Market
This will surely qualify as the first leg of our epic odyssey, even though Lilongwe was only intended as a practical stopover before springing up North. The decision to go and explore the market came almost naturally as we finished our overwhelming supermarket raid to stock up for the journey and felt in need of an antidote. Even though I’d already explored this market twice before, I never tire of going back there to be completely captured by the buzz of human activity and the profusion of colours, smells and sights. A kick to the senses really. From the meticulously stacked displays of fruits and vegetables at one end to completely dispersed messes of clothes and paraphernalia, we meandered along countless aisles, which revealed the true expanse of this deceivingly enormous market. The skill of bargaining quickly turns into an art here, and to any poker enthusiast I strongly recommend a visit sometime. Not even getting your shoes shined comes without some element of it! Having negotiated that little exchange, we proceeded to a systematic exploration of the specialist sections of the market and that took us along the traditional medicine quarters (be aware that taking photos on the sly might set you back a good few Kwachas!), the food “pavilion” where not a single part of an animal gets wasted except for bone maybe (by that of course I mean the inedible cortical part, not the marrow!.. and then again, I stare at my necklace pendant wondering which bone went into making it!), the tailoring&repairs, the kitchenware, the hardware and the megaphone-animated flea market style clothes areas. The market is such a beautifully organised mess that it is bound to lure you back any time you’re in Lilongwe. All the more so if you have a sense of adventure and decide to cross the flimsily erected paying bridges across the river that divides it in two (surprisingly it was not us getting paid for risking our lives on it but the astute architects of these totally uninspiring pontoons).

Donija Nkhoma

On Sunday, we did our first drive section to a community project called the Donija Nkhoma village. Thanks to my expert co-pilot, we experienced our first emotional moment when, at 110Km remaining to the destination, I was informed it was only 11Km away. Imagine my joy (read heartsink¬) after I discovered the stranded zero! Donija Project is essentially a close up look into the way traditional Malawian communities are organised, by staying and eating with them in their houses in the village. We had a fascinating guided tour around the different nuclei of the village to see how all these things come together- the nsima, the mudbrick or wooden houses, the ingenuous water supply and the wicker pens for cattle and corn. We also visited a fishpool constructed by the villagers miles away from the nearest lake, and learnt about the role of cattle as dowry! We were treated to a true delight of a traditional dance, where the women could best be described as yodelling, while the chief dancer gyrated and shook in his soft-drink-bottle-metal-cap-studded outfit at a speed my eyes could not fix. The sound was an eclectic bojangle beat.

Vwaza Marsh

After a very comfortable hospitality with some VSO friends in Rumphi (amazing food, courtesy of Marianne!), Vwaza was our next stop and first taste of a nature reserve. The road north form Rumphi becomes a dirt road for 100s of miles further, and really tested the car and Ash! The car resembled a pile of red dust by the end of this portion of the route and amazingly still has all its bits attached (which goes for us too!). Its original blue also proved to be the perfect lure for the millions of Tse-Tse flies colonising the marsh, which would come tick-ticking loudly at the windows in desperation for some human blood. Hence all windows up in the stifling afternoon heat while we attempted a mini-drive safari of the place.
Vwaza is a marsh surrounding a lake, where we stayed in a wooden hut on sticks, overlooking the lake. We were treated to the amazing sites of the park and got within arse-slapping distance of elephants (which Ash was very suspicious of their potential as man squashers [thanks to Janet’s white bait of a shirt!], though luckily we escaped unscathed). Also on the tick list numbered an entire herd of impalas, bushbucks, kudus, baboons, hippos and so many birds I couldn’t begin to name them (but there was a wicked Ibis couple in there).
A cook was at our service that evening, who conjured up some wonders out of our very sophisticated tinned offerings. As the night, its silence and crazy sounds closed in around us, we enjoyed the delight that be our candle-lit hut in total outside darkness and the sweet hiss of Malawi Gin with sprite.

Nyika Plateau- nature walk
Nyika rightly deserves the title of our ‘piece de resistance’ for this trip. It was, after all, the ultimate destination around which we constructed this sumptuous itinerary. Nyika is Malawi’s first and largest National Park, most parts of which are still inaccessible today, but to the most diligent and researched explorer. The motor-able route up put our dare-devil off-roading in Vwaza to shame, with the car threatening to skid off the road at least twice and forcing a maximum speed of 40Kmph on us.



Once you get to the plateau, you are immediately enveloped by a magical feeling of escaping to another world. In all truth, for Ash, it strictly represented the first time since in Malawi, where he felt altogether free from noise (Vwaza was a close contender, except that, of all days, ours was when the village gathered for a very rare mourning ritual on the edge of the park). In Nyika however, there prevails that silence which magnifies every other natural sound to its absolute sweetest (little wood insects, rustling leaves, water streaming etc). The setting is one akin to the highlands of Scotland, with one slight difference: inamongst the bracken (and seasonal orchids), there’d lay a herd of zebras (my favourite) or bucks or Roan antelopes staring at you with that quizzical face that says “friend or foe?!”. We managed to get close to the animals (including an elusive scrub hare just for Ash) on the first afternoon with the help of a local (black) guide by the name of White. It was an absolute treat to be able to not just see but also learn about so many species of animals, birds (herons, buzzards, bustards, cisticolas etc) and plants in one single day. And that made our day. Or maybe was it the delicious concoction created by our dedicated chalet keeper-cum-chef, Moses, who performed what can only be described as alchemy on the sweaty ingredients we’d be dragging along from Lilongwe. In this season, at this altitude (2000m), even in Malawi it gets pretty chilly. What better way to feel smug then than by a local firewood fireside with some more of that Malawian gin and real tonic before hitting a perfectly manicured bed...

Nyika Plateau- cycle ride/ village walk
Day 2 up Nyika was pedal powered along a myriad of paths and viewpoints onto vistas of the order only gleaned at on 'Planet Earth' or the like on TV. My position as the pack leader entitled me to the honour of approaching the animals first along the trip, often seconds only before they would rush back t o “security”, away from my trailing bike partners. White was again very useful in his local insight, even though that did not suffice to bring out the elands for us. Having exhausted ourselves to smithereens, we opted for the lazy stroll in the afternoon, which took us to the well kept secret that be the workers’ village on the plateau. That proved to be a great cultural extra (which we’re always keen on here) and also such excitements as crossing a derelict wooden bridge and balancing our bodyweights on some felled pine trunks near our chalet. This you need to picture as an amazing cabin warmed by an enormous central hearth and almost fully wood fuelled, including hot water (delight!)! Large windows let in plenty of light and gave us views out into the dense conifers to the back and into the small valley with its dams in front of us. As you guessed, dinner was consumed by the warm fireside, as prepared by Moses, and this time he managed to make us some bread and a perfect stir fry out of the fresh ingredients he sampled from a high up garden.
For two days, Nyika produced what would be best described as a little piece of heaven for us.


Nkhata Bay
From alpine silence and cool to humid lake-bound bustle, the transition could not have been starker. But then again a Malawian road trip wouldn’t be complete without including at least one stop at the lake. As it is clear to me by now, each bit of the lake has got its own personal character and charm. Far from the tranquil repose of Mangochi, or the posh resort of Cape Mcclear, Nkhata bay’s distinct appeal lies in its cliff-perched villas flanked by lush green wilderness. Once you’ve eliminated the thought that crocodiles might lurk somewhere in that water, it becomes one of the best for snorkelling haunts I’ve seen so far. You can really get close to those cyclet fish (which are unique for the propensity at evolution and rapid selection) and swim long distances without having to worry about tides or currents. If you’re lucky you’ll find a parked boat which you can climb and dive from... Simply ecstatic!

Senga Bay
In search of a more sandy version of the Lakeshore, the next day found us trekking another 350Km or so to Senga Bay, which is otherwise known as the capital’s swimming pool. This is where all these executives and short stay tourists rush to for a quick chance to immerse into Malawi’s biggest gem. However, partly owing to my state of sheer exhaustion and partly from a less than optimal choice of lakeside to stay at, Senga Bay will probably not remain etched in our hearts and minds as the preceding 6 days will. As for tranquillity, it certainly surpassed our expectations and we were glad to have a peaceful last night of a truly amazing holiday, recapping and recharging our batteries.

Lilongwe to Ntcheu- Public Transport2
Taking hitch hikers en route had become customary for us by now and the last leg of our journey was no exception. It was a reluctant reminder to us that our time of enjoying this luxury (lift offering) was also coming close to an end. The keys of the hired car would be handed over soon and we would become the ones either hitching or screeching and squeezing aboard a bus back to Ntcheu. This was precisely what happened after we managed to dodge past the horde of would-be porters to our bus. There we sat relieved that the bus was already full and ready to depart. Or so we thought. I was sat on the engine box at the front (my backside being guarded from smothering to an ash [!!] merely by an aptly placed wet towel from the morning’s swim!) and Janet on the steps. In the next 10 minutes the bus managed to fit another 10 or so passengers and within 10 miles of Lilongwe, it made this unexpected stop, where one person boarded together with their life’s belongings, followed, to our disbelief, by another, and another... until a miraculous 15 other passengers (less kids) found a space to stand somewhere aboard this bus. I don’t know how we managed to breathe after that. I think that if a preacher had joined us at this time, I would have stood up and preached back something about existentialism or some unintelligible metaphysical subject just to get it off my chest. Thankfully, the drive was quick, the music not deafening (thanks to my premier position next to the driver, hence controls) and the sun-setting scenery over the mountains of Dedza and Ntcheu an absolute treat for at least two exhausted contemplators.