Broken Down Ntcheu

I used to think for months that things weren’t as bad as one might have expected in my rural part of Africa in terms of utilities. In fact the weekly or bi-weekly 2hour power cuts have almost become an integral part of my routine, which I see as a sign of austerity. I even plan my meals around it. Same goes for the water cuts, which have the added bonus of instilling some discipline in me. Nothing’s for granted. I plan my bucket fills in such a way that neither the filter nor the spare pail ever runs dry. Meanwhile bottles of filtered water are being filled daily to avert a sudden unannounced stoppage. And also there’s always a spare supply for that most unwelcome situation when there’s no water after I’ve come back from a big footie game! So... all along the supply may have been erratic but cope-able.
Broken Down House
Jacaranda- the tree

Lately though, that routine has taken a sudden twist from austere to desperate! For some reason best known to the water board, only our cluster of 8-10 houses in the whole of Ntcheu has been put on load-sharing scheme. What that translates into, in practical terms, is no running water during any of the essential hours of day. If we’re lucky, we’ll get some water at lunch, which will have provide for all our accumulated washing- that is of pots, clothes and bodies. Otherwise our only chance is during the ungodly hours of 3-6am. Since my night guard actually seizes this opportunity to water the plants, we have a situation whereby my plants are getting better watered than myself! And this has been going on for close to 4 weeks. Soon I fear no-one will want to get within a 10m radius of me for my bodily odours. Thankfully, I have strategic friends in the regions where water is still flowing like it’s coming from a biblical fountain, who will grant me some charity showers.
Moving from that most nagging of inconveniences, I opted to apply myself to work and not get overly bitter- but also from lack of choice, with the number of projects I have on the go. Having invested a third of my monthly salary on the purchase of a shiny new dongle to browse the internet at my leisure in my own time, I decided to make some headway on my work in the evenings after that necessary cuppa and shower (however I manage to procure it!). Yet when I try plugging in, I get one of two messages- “there is no network” or “your connection has been terminated”! Why??? I couldn’t begin to speculate! Yet some 3-4 weeks ago, things started off really nicely with my new gadget, where some of you will even remember skype calls courtesy of the dongle. So now the only time I have to complete my email based assignments is in between those ward round and operating hours in the hospital, that is at lunch time, or after work. Highly exhausting I can tell you, especially when the midday heat crushes you to a compulsion for having a siesta. As a result, I’m also not being able to find the time to storm the water board office with my grievances because that would take up my lunch hour! Things are starting to sound like conspiracy already!

And indeed it must be, when you combine my two predicaments with the situation at work that’s currently prevailing. In line with the Malawian government’s highly efficient supply chain and integrity among the directorship of the medical stores (who are absolutely not stealing any medical supplies to sell at inflated prices in their own little private businesses), our hospital has been without some of the most indispensable materials for any healthcare-providing establishment to continue to operate. Yet we are somehow scraping along. I always liked to use the following example to illustrate the ludicrousness of dogged capitalism to people: there are three items that one is guaranteed to find in the farthest severest places on Earth- that is Coca-Cola, Beer and Paracetamol (as if those were the three most essential requirements for human survival!). This month, I believe, even capitalism has been challenged in our hospital! In addition to Paracetamol, the following items have also gone OS (out of stock!): all but 2 or 3 antibiotics, plaster tape, traction tape, plaster of Paris (now back IS), Xray reagents, latex examination gloves, cleaning alcohol/iodine solutions, facemasks to name but the orthopaedic side of things. I wouldn’t like to think what the other departments are enduring, but I’m sure it’s heartbreaking.

To stay on a great subject matter, since it’s been mentioned, I shall digress slightly to give you an update on the headlines here. Do you remember the saga regarding the new flag? Well it is now in full deployment across the whole country, having bypassed any sensible consultation worthy of consideration. And you know what? It’s even illegal to be seen flying the old flag anymore. What’s worse is that the cost of acquiring the new flag has to be borne by the actual requester. As if that was not enough financial squabbling, another all-time favourite ubiquitous display item has now undergone a subtle modification. Instead of reading His Excellency Ngwazi Dr BWM under his grimacing effigy, the text now has to read His Excellency Ngwazi Professor BWM! All because some eastern Chinese university has recognised him as deserving of the honour for his economic achievements! And what a one that will be when, just like with the flag, every office in the country will have to pay for a new portrait to be hung on their walls, or else be subjected to a fine and, more damaging even, political alienation. What a circus! It is said that the long awaited Nsanje inland port will be inaugurated this weekend. That will be a major achievement for Malawi’s trade and international links. But that’s only if it does not find itself thwarted by some jealous Mozambican government too eager to cash in on their neighbours. But praise be given where it be due! For this, well done HENPBWM!
New Flag

I now conclude by pleading you not to feel too sorry for me, as, let’s face it, it could still be worse. Ntcheu, for all intents and purposes, is broken down, but life goes on. Food gets on the plate- warm-, showers are had some way or the other and the mood is generally upbeat (especially from Uncle B after 10pm!). Did I mention to you also that by some strange twist of logic, our electricity supply has been remarkably good in the last 4weeks? In fact I shouldn’t tempt fate, as even as I write this (no kidding), there’s been 2 brief blackouts, which can only be a hint that the customary 2hour one isn’t far away. But then I guess, I am having the real African experience I sought out here- unlike my city dwelling friends, with their barricaded houses and hot showers! I simply wouldn’t trade...


anyone for mango archery?